Say Goodbye to Yourself

Do you think what you wear, what you drive, what you buy, what you keep is an extension of your personality?

Have you ever accepted/approve of anything (a gift/ a purchase/ a deal) because you think “this is SO me!”.

Have you ever refused/declined anything because you think “Oh! This is SO NOT me!”

After all the outfit, the purchases, the activities…is the personality complete? Are you happy?

Or are you still craving for more pieces of the jigsaw that make up your character? Maybe you are not craving, maybe you have no idea what to look for, or maybe you are not even looking for anything specific, but someone out there is trying to sell you a piece of that jigsaw.

Who actually are you trying to represent?

Who are you trying to impress with your representation? Your friends? Your family? Yourself? Are you impressed by yourself so far?

Maybe it’s time for a break-up with your love interest, which is yourself.

Detachment

Imagine there’s no possession;
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man
- John Lennon –


The simplest way to a simple life is to not own anything. Don’t own anything. Not even your heart.

Think of all the things you own as borrowing or loans which you have to return – your house, your bed, your car, your cellphone, your laptop, your attire, your designation, your rank, your salary, your trust, your respect, your love, your limbs, your organs, your senses…everything about you and related to you are just responsibilities which you will be accounted for.

Attachment

Those times when I thought I was unhappy because I was broke, I realized I wasn’t actually broke. I was just disappointed because I couldn’t have whatever it was I wanted at that time.

And those times when I thought I was depressed because I was lacking, I realized I wasn’t actually lacking. I was just not content with what I already have.

All our suffering is due to attachment – attachment to stuff we think we own, and attachment to stuff we are thinking of owning. And stuff can be people as well. The horror!

So the next time you are in pain, ask yourself:

What or whom am I attached to?
What or whom am I trying to own?
What or whom am I holding on to?
What does my heart desire?
Is it lawful? Is it unlawful?
Is it permissible? Is it forbidden?
Is it right for me?
Is it wrong for others?

If we could just get it into our thick skull the impermanency of things – love, health, wealth, beauty, the sexiness and the coolness of it all don’t last, then maybe we can move on.

Life Through My Camera Lens - a poem inspired by and dedicated to Qiqie

Life through my camera lens
Seems a little small
But as long as I break down the fence
Life is big and I shall walk tall

Life through my camera lens
Is a captured moment
Of cynical ladies and hypocritical gents
And of passing judgement

Life through my camera lens
Is a wonderful season
A bit of you, a bit of me, and hence
Life itself is my reason

5 reasons why we buy things

And sometimes regret afterwards. Look around you and the stuff you have accumulated all these years. How did it end up there?



“Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves.” - Edwin Way Teale

If we really think about it, we buy things just because. Only just because.

We buy things…

Just because it’s on sale/discount: We may not need it. Maybe not now. But we buy it anyway because we think we wouldn’t get a better offer, or another just as good. So we hoard it, greedily as if there is no tomorrow. But if we really believe there is no tomorrow, why buy?

Just because it’s a bargain: It may not be on sale, but we judge the quality and think that it is too good to miss, saying, “For this same quality, I could be paying so much more elsewhere”. And so we think it is a good buy.

Just because it is nice/new/trendy: It looks nice in the magazine. It looks nice on display. It even looks nice on our friend. It looks like something we ought to have. So we buy it, thinking it would fill a void in our lives, bring it home and discover it is irrelevant and that we neither need it nor want it.

Just because it’s a (insert a brand name/character): We are not paid to wear certain brands, but some of us are proud brand ambassadors. I have a friend who is into BUM Equipment so much he has to have BUM t-shirts, BUM belts, BUM socks, BUM sneakers, BUM this, BUM that. He even bought a ring with BUM Equipment logo on it although he knew really well it wasn’t original. Oh bummer!

Just because we think we deserve it: This one is complicated. Most of the time we think we work so hard, we deserve a reward. And that reward is shopping, because we believe we have tasted success and nothing to show for it. Sometimes we are encouraged to shop. We even make purchases on credit. I guess it’s true the saying, “People spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they cannot afford, to impress people they don’t like”

5 reasons why you can't throw it a way

As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness. - Henry David Thoreau

1. It’s expensive. You have paid an obscene amount (by your own standard) of money for it. So you rationalize saying it’s an investment although you can’t say the item’s name without the swear-word adjective.

2. It’s charging you. You are still paying interest for it, even though you don’t use it anymore, or it’s broken.

3. It’s rare. You have spent your whole life searching around the world for it, even though now you have forgotten where you even placed it.

4. It looks like something an intelligent person would keep, even though you find it difficult to appreciate it. You keep Close Encounter of the Third Kind just because people say it’s a classic Spielberg even though the movie bores you to death. You keep a collection of books by Stephen Covey although you know the contents are all common sense, and you can’t even finish any one book. And sometimes, your “intelligence” is telling you that if you keep it long enough, it might go up in value, and you can make a fortune out of it.

5. It was a gift, even though you don’t like it, or can’t find use for it. Maybe you did, but not anymore.

Don't Be Ordinary; Be Extraordinary

What is being normal?

" 'Normal' is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car, and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it." - Ellen Goodman

So you want to choose "normal" like the rest of the crowd?

Or would you rather be different and get out of this materialistic prison?

Work vs Slavery

“Keluar pagi, balik petang, Keluar pagi, balik petang, Dapat Gaji, bayar hutang” – Ustaz Zahazan Mohamad

Funny Ustaz. In English, the above quote basically reads like this,

“Go out at sunrise,
come back at sunset;
Get salary,
pay debt”.

Notwithstanding the bad rhyme, the message does have a good message – one that we already know. It should even trigger us to evaluate the reasons why we even go to work in the first place.

Some of us love our jobs. If that’s the case, by all means, enjoy them while you still can. Just don’t let your job rule you. Don’t be possessed by your possessions. Work because you like it.

Don’t end up being a slave to your job.

Don’t lose time with your loved ones because you need that promotion.

Don’t sacrifice your passions because you want that salary raise.

Don’t delay your retirement because you have bank loans, hire-purchase and debts to pay.

5 signs you are wealthy

1. Over one billion people survive on less than a dollar a day, and you’re not one of them

2. One of every seven people in this world goes to bed hungry each night, and you’re not that person

3. Every year, 10 million children die before their fifth birthday from preventable or treatable diseases because they have no access to medicine, and they don’t include you or your family

4. Billions of people live in fear due to war, climate catastrophe or simply due to no access to clean water, but you can comfortably brush your teeth, have your bath, choose what to wear, and then go out and look good in front of people you don’t really care about.

5. 72 million children in the world have no access to education, but you can read, write, and surf the internet.

Downscale - finding focus and the essentials in life

"Back then, I didn't have a big organization around me. I was just a kid with a guitar, traveling around. My responsibility basically was to the art, and I had extra time on my hands. There is no extra time now. There isn't enough time". - Joni Mitchell

Perhaps, like most people, we just can’t seem to have the time to do what we want to do. It’s not about acquiring skills or having talent. Maybe it’s just that. Time. We don’t have enough of it.

Juggling from office work to getting caught in rush hour traffic; from home chores to helping the kids with their homework; from cooking to washing; from cleaning to drying; you just can’t figure out how people actually enjoy their hobbies – how people actually have hobbies at all.

No doubt we have too many commitments on our list. The solution: Downscale your activities, lose the time-wasters and get to the essential.

Of course, this sounds easier than it actually is, because it’s a choice we are making.

To play badminton outside? Or to stay inside and watch TV?

To start cross-stictching? Or to continue the unfinished book?

To write a book? Or to read the newspaper?

To learn the guitar? Or to check out the latest fashion in Cleo?

To ride the bicycle and get some exercise? Or to go fishing?

Sometimes, we simply have too many interests. We can’t have them all. We don’t have the time. We have to decide. The choice will be based on what is essential to our life’s goal.

To play bowling this weekend? Or to visit our parents?

To take a part-time job? Or to volunteer for charity work?

To watch HBO? Or to recite the Quran?

To sleep and overcome the day’s stress? Or to wake up and pray?

Patient Attention; Not Talent

“If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been due more to patient attention, than to any other talent” – Isaac Newton

Do you consider yourself a badminton player, although your racket is stored way deep under the staircase? Do you consider yourself an artist, although now your watercolor paints have cracked and dried? Do you consider yourself a drummer, although your drumset is sitting in the garage untouched? Do you consider yourself a cross-stitcher, although all you do is sit in front of the TV all day?

Maybe you just like the idea of being.

Maybe we did have an interest or a hobby of some kind at some point. But we stopped. Why? Did our passion die? Or did we suddenly realize we are nowhere near as good as those sportsmen, artists, musicians and all? We usually blame our lack of talent. We stopped because we believe we lacked talent. But still, we hang on to the hardware. We hold dear our stuff – the same way I did with my helmet, because the idea of me being a racecar driver is too cool to let go.

Although I finally did let it go, I am not in any way discouraging anybody from enjoying their hobbies. My opinion is this – don’t take it too seriously. If it has been THAT important to you, you would have pursued your hobby like nothing else matters. If you believe you lack talent, good. It’s better to admit that you have no talent, than to believe that you have and then despair for the fact that you cannot excel with that talent.

So take it easy. Relax and enjoy the moment – doesn’t matter how you fill that moment – clay modeling, wood carving, photography.

Trust me, if your first guitar lesson didn’t create a good G-chord sound, your next one will. Just give your hobby a little patient attention.

5 ways to tell you don't need to keep it

“Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” - Albert Einstein

1. You haven’t looked at it/used it/worn it since last year

2. You are spring cleaning your room, which you haven’t for the last 6 months. You are going through your stuff. You are not looking for anything specific, but you find something and you go, “Oh, here you are!”

3. You even forget you actually own it, until someone mentions it to you, “Didn’t you use to have that…”

4. You get something nice, but haven’t anything that matches it. So you want to go out and get something that goes with it. My advice, don't.

5. You use the word expressions like “One day” or “One of these days” to describe it ie “One day, I will find a use for it” or “One of these days, I’ll find the time to learn it” or “I’ll repair it one day”. Trust me, if that day didn’t come in the last 6 months, it will not come.

5 things you shouldn't buy when expecting a baby

Or rather, things you shouldn’t have bought if they are now clutter in your home.

Once the Sahaaba (RA) were discussing some worldly aspects. Rasullullah (SAW) addressed them and said: "Will you not listen? Will you not listen? Will you not listen? Verily simplicity is a part of Imaan. Verily simplicity is a part of Imaan. Verily simplicity is a part of Imaan - Abu Dawood

1. Baby Pram/Stroller: You won’t be taking a stroll in the park anytime soon after you give birth. So this thing is unnecessary - at least until you or your baby, are really ready to take a stroll, by which time your interest would probably have died, or someone would have given the pram to you as a gift.

2. Baby basket/carrier: What is wrong with carrying your baby in your arms? You are not about to play floating-Moses-in-a-basket, are you? A baby carrier is the knapsack that carries your baby on your back. Weird stuff. Someone gave this to me. I never used it. Sometimes I see mothers taking their babies window shopping. The mall should be the last place you want to take your baby to.

3. Baby car seat: If your babies are already able to sit, then they will sit in the car just fine. If they are not yet able to sit, then they are not about to move around – so lie them down on the back seat and cushion them with pillows. Put extra pillows in the rear leg room in case they should roll forward when you emergency brake.

4. Baby cot: I have seen these things end up with a pile of clean laundry in it. What’s wrong with your baby sharing your bed? You are not about to have sex anytime soon for at least 2 months. Your husband can sleep on the floor.

5. Baby changing table: Doesn’t matter if the one you saw can be dismantled and turned into a study desk. Your parents raised you without it. You don’t need this to raise your children.

5 ways to tell if whatever you think you own, owns you

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail.” - Henry David Thoreau

1. You worry like hell when you have to leave it for a few days

2. You make space for it even though your home is small

3. You clean it/organize it/rearrange it even though you know you could make better use of your time

4. You repair it/maintain it/insure it even though you are on a tight budget

5. You feel you need to move to a bigger house. And when you do, it takes a 3-tonne lorry to move your possessions.