Top Gear of the Year, year after year

Still not convinced that the bicycle is the most efficient mode of transport on this planet? Top Gear, the gung-ho, strong-opinionated car magazine answers the question – which is the fastest way across London, one of the most congested cities in the world? A bicycle is pitted against a Mercedes GL SUV, a speed boat and public transportation during the peak of Monday morning rush hour. Guess who won…

http://kimbofo.typepad.com/londoncyclingdiary/2007/11/top-gear-race-a.html

Tip of my helmet to the bicycle!

Happy New Year!

Climate Change Reaching Climax

Flash flood in 4 states – Terengganu, Kelantan, Pahang and Johor, as rightly predicted. We didn’t expect Kedah would experience it too, but it did – padi fields destroyed only weeks before harvesting. The cyclone that hit Bangladesh has so far killed more than 3,100 lives. Half of Mexico is now submerged. 30 pupils hurt after a 5.1 Richter scale earthquake hit southwestern Iran. Snow storms are blinding American and Canadian motorists in this holiday season. And officials in Indonesia are predicting an earthquake as powerful as 8.5-magnitude. 'Tis the reason to be jolly?

We don’t need to remind you of the tsunami that devastated Sumatra in 2004 and the massive flood that drowned practically half of Johor in late 2006. We saw it. We felt it. What are we going to do about it? We can either continue our rat race trying to make big bucks and let climate change take its course and turn our riches back to rags. Or admit that damage to the environment was caused by our own selfish lifestyle and therefore, start being the solution rather than a contributor to the problem.

Decide.

An Open Environmental CSR Proposal for Sustainable Growth

I started cycling to work in February, mostly to cut cost of running my beloved car, which had begun to take its toll, not as a fun activity gear, but as a tool to get to work and to accomplish my office assignments. My cycling to work had nothing to do with saving the environment until I realized the potential of course. But one car less on the road will not make much difference to the ozone.

What you are about to read is an aftermath of what happened to my outlook on sustainability when my car finally brokedown. With my car at the workshop, I had no choice but to rely on my bicycle and the public transportation. Or course, on a bus or bike, you could only go as far as the office. You’d still need a car to go for an appointment – which surprised me by the fact that the company has no pool car to serve such purpose!

This reminds me of when I first browsed through the classified looking at job vacancies where I found that apart from the main qualification requirement, there was always the “must possess own transport” criteria. Now if I really had been cycling because I want to save the planet, I’d be offended. But I am not. I am just disappointed. Companies nowadays are taking it for granted that it is ok to exploit employees’ cars. Slowly now things are getting clear to me that my back seat was torn because I was carrying product cartons that belong to the company. My rear suspension has bottomed out due to frequent carrying of heavy exhibition materials and so on and so forth.

Will a company not consider someone for an employment if he/she has what it takes to fill the position but not own a car? Where is the social responsibility in there? What’s in it for someone who, after realizing the true financial, physical, mental and emotional expense of owning a car, chose not to own one? And what about the person who actually cycles everywhere because he/she insists on saving the planet? Will a caring corporate company not support it?

A well-developed system of alternative transportation options can foster a region’s economic growth and sustainability. Sadly this is not how most of us perceive things. Instead, we build highways and byways that charge end users, exit interchanges that collapse and tunnels that would cause flood. Why not have a bike path for safer cycling in the cities? Why not have the last carriage of the commuter train allocated for cyclists and their bikes?

What if we could devise a way to eliminate the financial burden of employees, not by giving huge increment and bonus, but by offering a more sustainable convenience that would support cycle-to-work or bus-to-work campaign. The average Malaysian spends more than RM20,000 per year on car ownership, excluding breakdown and accident repairs. But this isn’t just about financial burden on the employee part. It’s about getting cars less on the road to reduce pollution and road rage and therefore, save the planet for your children and mine.

Ride the bicycle while you still can

While we are busy gaining wealth, we are losing health.

Obesity increased 4.4 % in 1996 to 14 % in 2006. For adults above 30, the proportion of those who were diabetic increased from 8.3 % in 1996 to 14.9 % last year and of those who were hypertensive increased from 29.9 % to 42.6 % for the same 10-year period.

See full story:
Chua: Eat right, exercise regularlyNew Straits Times - Persekutuan,MalaysiaHealth Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek said overeating or poor eating habits contributed to an increase in the prevalence of many chronic diseases like ...

Malaysians like to spend more time accumulating wealth only to look good in a sedentary lifestyle. What good is a 5-star bathroom at home when we have a kidney failure? We can’t even pee right.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Picture Perfect

According to an English language lecturer I know, there is a relatively new branch of linguistics known as semiotics. Semiotics is when one says something without literally saying it, but uses images instead. I reckon it’s like visually saying.

This reminds me again of Datuk Dr Jemilah Mahmood, who told me that when Acheh was struck by tsunami, the UN came to aid in their shiny Humvees, while MERCY Malaysia came in an old van. From outside Acheh, what can one see? That UN is all armed and ready, and MERCY surely can’t be serious with that old van. But as victims of the tsunami, what they could see is not the same as what they wanted to see. They wanted to see sincerity. And sincerity didn’t shine through the Humvees. If anything, the Humvees were like arrogant visuals that say, “Hey, we are the one with the money, and we are here to help you”.

Never forget that the tsunami victims, the Johor-flood victioms and other victims of natural disasters were once like us. Some were even millionaires. Yes they were left with nothing, but once upon a time, they knew how to get by, how to earn a living, and some even knew how to make big bucks. But now they need help. Sincere help. They don’t need to see shiny toys and trendy gadgets to inspire them to rebuild their lives.

Can you hear me S.O.S?

I’ve been a busy bee lately, which explains why I haven’t been blogging. I have been working on my (well, Pharmaniaga’s actually) mobile clinic. This is going to be our flagship Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) programme, and I am proud to be working closely with MERCY Malaysia on this project.

Known as Skuad Operasi Sihat or SOS, the mobile clinic project is in tandem with MERCY’s strategic objective, which is to provide timely and quality emergency medical relief response while improving accessibility to quality health services to vulnerable communities.

The mobile clinic is a converted ambulance that will be manned by volunteer doctors and nurses from MERCY, with the assistance from Pharmaniaga volunteers. The most comforting aspect about this mobile clinic, however, is the fact that it is endorsed by the Ministry of Health, Malaysia.

In summary, SOS is important to Pharmaniaga and its employees as it is a platform for human capital development, to the MOH as it gives a chance to remain as partners in ensuring healthy Malaysia and to the public as it gives unmarginalised access to healthcare. Anyway, I am happy that the launch ceremony my colleagues and I organised was a huge success, with plenty of media coverage including RTM and TV3. Below are some of it:


Kerajaan tanggung RM15j rawat pendatangUtusan Malaysia Online – Sat, 03 Nov 2007 05:28...berkata demikian pada sidang akhbar selepas merasmikan Klinik Bergerak milik syarikat Pharmaniaga Berhad di Dataran Labis di sini, hari ini . Turut...

More mobile clinics on the wayTheStar.com.my – Fri, 02 Nov 2007 15:51...for the developer to reserve land for clinics,' he said after launching Pharmaniaga's mobile clinic in Labis, Friday. The mobile clinic, part ...

Easier access to healthcare for allBy malaysianmedicine Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek said the Cabinet had approved an additional 96 mobile clinics to the present 151. He said the 96 would be introduced in stages over the next three years. Dr Chua said that although the standard ...

Healthcare errors plague Americans (Los Angeles Times)By tapblog2(tapblog2) Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek said the Cabinet had approved an additional 96 mobile clinics to the present 151. http://www.bpobay.com/healthcare/Easier-access-to-healthcare-.html. Molina Healthcare completes acquisition of ...

If you would like to be a volunteer in SOS programme, or even with MERCY, let me know.

Remember, most times, priorities are actually public, not personal.

Dialogue with the Doctor

One of the people I admire in this world is Dato’ Dr Jemilah Mahmood, president of MERCY Malaysia, whom I had the chance to personally meet on 24 August 2007.

I admire Dr Jemilah Mahmood for her humanitarian work. I admire Joni Mitchell for her poetry and paintings. I admire John Mellencamp for his rock & roll music. Notice that they all have “JM” initials? Coincidence?

Anyway, if you haven’t had the chance to chat with her face to face before, let me tell you this…I could literally felt divine light (nur) emanating from her as she spoke. I bet it comes from a pure heart where true sincerity lies.

For the benefit of those who haven’t already known how Dr Jemilah came about doing what she does, I’ll relate to you what she told me. Once upon a time, she had this life most of us can only dream about – having a medical degree, lecturing medicine at a university for a few years, then practicing medicine…until one day she sat at home with her son watching TV which showed a heart-and-gut-wrenching images of war-torn and impoverished children fighting hunger. Then all of a sudden, the son, aged 5 at that time, spoke out, “Mak tolong lah, mak kan doctor!”. In deeper English, it would probably be deduced as, “Mom, you’re a doctor, do something!”. Remember, the son was only 5 years old at which age only Barney & Friends is considered a serious subject.

And that was when it hit her. Not because she could do something. But because it came from a 5 year old who she believed spoke the words inspired by Allah, the Almighty.

So, with the blessing from her husband, she took out all her savings from Tabung Haji, gathered as many doctor friends as she could gather and formed Medical Relief Society (MERCY). The rest, as they say is history, which has not, of course, been without bruises and even bullets. But when you are sincere in treading the path of Allah, then Allah will guide you to ways you least expect.

She told me that when she was shot at during a mission in Iraq (footage of which was shown over TV3), the bullet actually hit her “tudung” pin and bounced elsewhere. Logic would tell you how vulnerable a pin is against a speeding bullet. But sincerity does not take logic into account.

There’s so much to do in this world and so little time. I think my outlook on life has changed after meeting her. I used to want to be the best, not only in what I do, but more in what I want to be seen doing. I wanted to be the best driver in town. I wanted to be best writer in the whole UEM Group. I wanted to be the best employee in Pharmaniaga. Not anymore. I don’t think I want to be the best in the world. Instead, I want to be the best for the world.

Happy 50th Merdeka!

In the spirit of our 50th anniversary Merdeka celebration, I list down herewith 50 freedoms for opting car-free living:

1. Freedom from driving for reasons other than fun
2. Freedom from obeying traffic rules
3. Freedom from being enemies to traffic policemen
4. Freedom from being enemies to local municipal officers
5. Freedom from high price of petrol
6. Freedom from endless car payment
7. Freedom from car insurance
8. Freedom from roadtax
9. Freedom from having to remember when the insurance and tax are due
10. Freedom from toll fares
11. Freedom from car maintenance
12. Freedom from having to monitor mileage for service intervals
13. Freedom from waiting to get my car serviced
14. Freedom from car repairs
15. Freedom from cheating mechanics
16. Freedom from parking fee
17. Freedom from wasting time to find car park
18. Freedom from having to squeeze into tight parking spot
19. Freedom from recalling where the hell I parked my car!
20. Freedom from having to remember to switch off the lights after dawn
21. Freedom from buying car shampoo, foam and polish
22. Freedom from bad smell of durian
23. Freedom from remembering to buy car freshener
24. Freedom from risk of buying freshener that would offend my passengers
25. Freedom from worry that children will stain the seats and handprint the windows
26. Freedom from worry that bad weather might damage the car
27. Freedom from worry that bad people might damage the car
28. Freedom from careless drivers that might hit my rear
29. Freedom from worry that someone would borrow my car
30. Freedom from car theft
31. Freedom from car break-ins
32. Freedom from car breakdowns that leave me stranded in the middle of nowhere
33. Freedom from worry that I might have a puncture and later find it difficult to change tyres
34. Freedom from getting lost
35. Freedom from getting lost and find that tank is empty and no petrol station in sight
36. Freedom from getting stuck in traffic
37. Freedom from getting valuable time lost sitting in traffic
38. Freedom from experiencing rush hour
39. Freedom from road rage
40. Freedom from getting honked at or fist or the finger from other drivers
41. Freedom from inhaling cancerous benzene during petrol fill-ups
42. Freedom from bad posture
43. Freedom of space at home porch
44. Freedom from having to make space at home for car
45. Freedom from keeping extra keys in my pocket (including gearlock & steeringlock)
46. Freedom from guilt of polluting the air
47. Freedom from guilt of being noisy
48. Freedom from guilt of being totally selfish
49. Freedom from being strangers to neighbours
50. Freedom from unexpected expenses

Define the phrase

I have heard it many times before, in Malay songs, but never had the guts to ask what it means. For one thing, it does sound a little out of place within a decent Malay-Muslim society. It sounds icky as well.

Now that I’m riding buses, I’m hearing it again and more often too as Malay songs come off the airwaves.

Will someone tell me what on earth “memadu asmara” is?

Persona: Gen2 with a but...(pun intended)

…a loose butt to be exact.

The Gen2 possesses a very innovative design. Nothing else in its class segment looks as sporty. The bodywork is handsome and sexy all in one go. Its tight ass should be left alone. But no…Proton just had to make mistakes. They added a loose ass to Gen2 and call it Persona.

Proton quotes in its print advert: “The idea was simple – to create a new sedan that would be the pride and joy of Malaysians. How we went from there would be anything but easy.”

Anything but easy? How difficult can it be to just add more boot space without revising the exterior design at all?

The print advert ends with: “At last, our car for the people is realized. It wasn’t easy. But it was worth it. After months of hard work and dedication, the Persona can be the pride and joy of every family”

Right, and I bet the poor Gen2 will end up like the pathetic Wira – add a longer tailgate and call it Aeroback; minus 2 doors and call it Satria; put back the sedan boot, use the Satria’s taillight and call it Putra; or replace the rear half with a pick-up bed and call it Arena.

But from the front, they all look the same.

XXX

X-amine your schedule. And if you have nothing x-cessively x-citing planned for the weekend, perhaps you might want to x-cuse yourselves from x-asperating activities and x-alt your mood to an x-tremely higher state. Come x-perience the x-clusive open wheel racing – the go-kart! It will be an x-hibition of x-plicit F1-like racing actions and an x-plosion of x-cessive energy resulting from a G-force reaction that would do Vin Diesel proud!

No x-ageration! While go-kart may not x-actly be the most x-otic sport in x-istence, it is every bit x-uberating and x-hilarating. X-traordinary too if it is the first time for you!

Here are some hard facts about go-karting that you never come to realize:

IT'S MIND RELAXING
Unlike chess, bowling or golf, which drain the brain, go-karting is as relaxing as a good massage or aromatherapy. And the suit the drivers wear make them feel as if they just had a good sauna.

IT'S NOT RISKY TO LIFE
Unlike rock-climbing or martial arts, which leave the sportsperson with a 50-50 chance of survival, go-kart is as safe as a baby stroller, only this time the karter gets to steer and go “somewhere”. Of course, with you at the wheel, the karts will go just about “everywhere”.

IT'S NOT PHYSICALLY HAZARDOUS
Unlike football or baseball, which is a contact sport, kart drivers are unlikely to be pushed,
kicked, elbowed or even scratched. Of course, in the hands of you guys, THAT is about to change. The karts probably WILL make contact.

So x-clude yourselves from x-cruciatingly boring Saturday shopping and come to MORAC FastTrack Speedzone USJ ELITE Go-Kart Circuit, the Sepang Go-Kart Circuit, or the Shah Alam Go-Kart Track and watch as the x-men and women x-orcise each other in the fight for victory! X-pose yourselves to some x-amplary display of x-pelling opponents. Better if you x-perience it yourselves.

Call me if you are game! It’s not that x-pensive.

How to avoid wrinkles

Not on your face. But on your shirt and pants.

This I learned from an accidental observation of my father-in-law – an unforgettable event that caused me to experience a momentary cognitive tsunami.

I caught him wearing his socks BEFORE his shirt and pants! No, I am not making this up. Nor am I making a Superman joke. I’m serious!

Reason being, your shirt and pants would wrinkle if you bend over to put on your socks. Makes sense. But you have no idea how it was like to see an old man walking around only in a towel and socks.

Shame on TNB

Sad news today – click link to read.

http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/content.asp?y=2007&dt=0810&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Dalam_Negeri&pg=dn_01.htm

Almost all the local papers run this news today. Let’s assess this…

Cause of death – fire
Cause of fire – candles
Why use candles – no electricity
Why no electricity – disconnected by TNB
Why disconnected – unpaid bills
Why bills unpaid – no enough money
Why money not enough – must pay fees for 3 children who are in tertiary education

So who's fault was it? The candles that light the night? The parents who scarificed for the children? The children who are pursuing their education? or who?...

One paper cited that the bill unpaid was RM800.

TNB makes millions of profit every year. There are lots of companies out there with RM20,000 to RM70,000 electric bills. There are also lots of illegally operating companies out there making unlawful profits and enjoying electricity. What is RM800 to TNB you’d think…if not just a mere chicken flesh stuck between its teeth?

For RM800, TNB killed 5 today.

Yes, things were destined to be. But consider the cause and effect, Qada’ and Qadar, and you know who is at fault.

Maybe now TNB should sponsor the 3 children and one sole survivor of the fire incident until they earn their degree and get good jobs (or TNB may offer them jobs). Then again…RM800 is a lot of money. I guess.

Datin Diaries and "diaries" like it

I was all over TV channels a couple of nights ago searching for a good programme when I paused at the channel that showed Datin Diaries. As you would expect, the show displayed plenty of yelling, pointing, harsh language, eye-rolling, smirking, and no respect none-so-ever with the elderly or the husband, before it ended with credit roll superimposed on scenes of the actors and actresses dressed in white as if they were as pure as angels.

So sick!

I was saying to myself, “What the hell is wrong with these people?” My wife, who heard me, said, “You haven’t seen “Natasha” and “Sembilu Kasih”. They are all the same". The sensation that movie makers seem to enjoy producing is that of broken family and love-overules-syariah. I wonder if the same sensation is enjoyed by the Malay viewers.

Are these shows fiction? Or portrayal of the reality of today’s Malay?

Either way they shouldn’t be shown. Millions of Malays, adults and children are watching. If they are fiction, viewers will absorb the scenes and subconsciously adapt the lifestyle. If they are the reality of today’s Malay, then we are in deep trouble. No wonder the country is getting hotter and hotter. Global warning is not just caused by greenhouse gas, it can also be caused by sins.

Wallahu’alam

p/s
Heard actor Jalalludin Hassan has been conferred Datukship. And for what? For touching another woman? His wife should’ve been given more honour as she’s been “enduring” the sickening movie scenes!

Worry no more

It’s been raining all night and this morning. As I waited for the bus to work, I looked at the cars passing by. Old. New. Some were well used and abused. Some seemed well looked after. Shiny? None of them were. If the owner had washed and waxed over the weekend, it didn’t show as the rain just spoilt it all. And that made me feel glad for not owning a car. The worry is just not worth it.

For the past one week I have been peeping through my bedroom window to catch a last glimpse of my car before going to sleep, like I used to – to see how its gleaming paintwork reflects in the moonlight and also to check if it is safely tucked in. But all I saw was an empty porch. Do I miss my car? Yes I do, and all for the right reasons now. No more worrying if it’s going to be broken into. No more worrying if the droppings from the bats, the birds, the chickens, the cats and the lizards will damage its paintwork. No more worrying if the rain is going to defeat my weekend washing and waxing efforts.

Thunderstorms? So what! Lightning-struck trees? Doesn’t bother me now. Landslide? I’m cool. You see, when you have no car, you have no car to lose!

There are other things I am missing (or not missing) too – no more going circles at Megamall trying to find a parking space. No more waiting with my signal lights blinking for the nearest car to leave its parking lot. No more worrying about parking too far from security. No more worrying when my insurance and roadtax will expire. No more worrying about which item on my budget I should chuck aside to finance the expiring insurance and roadtax. I can do a long list on this, but I suppose you can tell me what you don’t like about motoring and that just about sums it up pretty well.

If you are driving any of my favorite or dream cars, I may admire your car. But I don’t envy you one bit. In fact, I feel sorry for you for owning it.

p/s 1
Yes I do get stuck in the jam while in the bus sometimes, but I can take a nap, a luxury I wouldn’t have had if I was driving!

p/s 2
Now I don’t have to worry about whether my children will quarrel over who will inherit my car when I die. Pure peace of mind.

Traditional and Complimentary

I had to attend the Traditional & Complimentary Medicine Exhibition at PWTC yesterday. I couldn’t bike that far, so without the car, I took public transportation - bus from home to Klang town, and the commuter train from Klang town to Putra station, which is a walking distance to PWTC.

The bus ride was nostalgic. I still remember the times when we used to see conductors who carried a sling bag for coins, held thick staple bound multi-coloured tickets while expertly secured ringgit bills between his fingers. We don’t see them anymore these days.

I also realized that there is no such thing as Chinese bus drivers. If there is, it’d be rare. You’d know your driver is Malay when he turns on RadioERA. And you can tell if it is an Indian driver as he will, to his own don’t-give-a-rat’s-ass satisfaction, turn on the Tamil radio station. All these, in sync sometimes with body odor and the occasional scent of sesame oil annoy you tremendously but drown your pride and arrogance. Bus rides humble you.

The bus is THE traditional and complimentary tool for relearning civic and strengthening your character. My children may have learned civic in school but never had real-life civic awareness of surrendering one’s seat for the disabled, elderly or moms with babies. Understanding is the most beautiful language. What is understood need not be said.

My children will ride their bicycles or take public transportation from now on. A tough Hijrah, but not an impossible one.

Soul Sold

I took the plunge!

I sold my car and migrated to the unknown realm of car-less world. Big decision? You bet. Panic? Slightly.

It was sad looking at my car being driven away today. I didn’t get the RM7,000 cash I anticipated, though. After the wild goose-chase from KL-Kuantan-KL last Saturday where I broke all speed records, I blew the gasket, overcooked the brakes and burned the manifold. Drifting also punished the rear wheels, shredding them into pieces of bacon (beef – halal!). So with all the repairs, re-tweaking and re-tuning to be done, I was offered RM5,000 cash for the 23-year-old German junk that got me broke.

On the flipside, I didn’t just look at my car being driven away. I looked at this fake and temporary obsession that turned into my evil pride and passion. I was once the fastest, the quickest…but no more. This is a real Hijrah for me. I am now reduced to naught. I am nothing. I am nothing but a Caliph of the Creator of this planet that we are destroying by our own self-indulgence.

The automobile industry and its infratrusture is ruining the country, ecologically and socially. And I don't believe in blood for oil, which is the basis of USA's foreign policy. I am about to save my children, your children and the children of the world.

I shall cycle my bike around happy knowing I am not damaging to harmonious human development. I shall be wealthier (with the ability to give more to charity) and healthier (as cycling will improve my physique and will make me look good naked).

A poem for Blossom on her birthday

Hijrah

I'm wayfaring in my car
I'm sitting in some cafe
The sight of dirty black tar
supposed to lure love away

There's comfort in melancholy
When there's no need to explain
The weather may be gloomy
Not necessarily it is in pain

In our possessive coupling
So much could not be expressed
So now I'm returning to myself
These things that you and I suppressed

I see something of myself in everyone
Just at this moment of oblivion
As rain crushed down like diamond
I see everything in no one

You know it never has been easy
Whether you do or you do not resign
Whether you travel the breadth of extremities
Or stick to some straighter line

I'm porous with travel fever
But you know I'm so glad to be on my own
Still somehow the slightest touch of a stranger
Can set up trembling in my bones

I know no one's going to show me everything
We all come and go unknown
Each so deep and superficial
Between the forceps and the stone

I looked at the granite markers
Those tribute to finality to eternity
And then I looked at myself here
Chicken scratching for my immortality

In the dark I light the candles
And the wax rolls down like tears
There's the hope and the hopelessness
I've not cried for thirty years

We're only particles of change for one anew
Orbiting around the sun
But how can I have that point of view
When I'm always bound and tied to someone

Useless tiny bottles of shampoo
As Casuarina tree used for a broom
Sweeping away the dream and the reflection too
From the window of a hotel room

I'm traveling in some vehicle
I’m feeling the spinning wheel
A scene from this cubicle
Tells me the whole thing is unreal.

Beat my record. Otherwise, divorce right now!

I will walk the talk. So, I’m selling my car.

But before that, just for old time's sake, I drove to Kuantan on Saturday.

From Bangsar to Kuantan in 2 hours.

7.42 am as I passed NST office in Bangsar and 9.45 am as I reached Shahzan Inn Kuantan.

Beat that!

Otherwise, I will live a happy car-free life believing that I am holding the record for the quickest KL-Kuantan travel time.

Choose wisely. Otherwise, divorce right now!

Even if you don’t care about saving money for retirement, preserving the environment for your children and future generation, educating yourself and your family on how to live a simple life and stopping the war in the Middle East (and the world, sooner or later), you should still divorce your car because:

If you own a Korean car, you have bad taste.

If you own an Italian car, you are broke.

If you own a German car, you are egoistic in that you believe your self-worth is tied to your car.

If you own a French car, you have weird sense of fashion.

If you own a car from China, you have a clear sense of humor, plus a tool to make people laugh.

If you own a Japanese car (passenger, not sports), you are womanly.

If you own a Swedish car (Volvo or worse, Saab), you are gay.

Love. Otherwise, divorce right now!

Do you love your car? By that I mean, do you wash your car YOURSELF twice a week, clean the interior every other day, wax the paint every month and degrease every nook and cranny of whatever it is under the bonnet?

Do you read car magazines and books and watch car-related TV shows to enrich your knowledge on car maintenance so much so that it even occurred to you once to attempt an oil change?

If your answer is no, I am not surprised, because you, like most Malaysians fall into the category of people who have no love-affair with their cars. You don’t love your car. You just can’t live without the car only because you are addicted to it. Your brain simply cannot comprehend how a person can live successfully without owning a car. Your mindset is conditioned (by advertisements, extravagant lifestyle, peers, upbringing, society and sometimes even by your own parents) to the notion that life is impossible without the car, fooling you into believing that the car is a symbol of freedom, success and wealth. It’s all a lie. Worse, they put it top priority along other basic needs. Food, clothing and shelter are basic needs. The car is not.

It’s time to evaluate your affair with the car. Is it love? Or is it addiction? If it is addiction, like drugs and alcohol, then it can be cured. Divorce your car right now, and set yourself free.

I'm all carbonised

May I introduce you to my ex-GTS M5 Expert Racing mountainbike, the very bike that appeared with me in the Star newspaper. Made of 7005 series aluminium alloy, the frame was painted in the famous blue and white BMW F1 colour – the official BMW livery, which became complete when I bought Michelin tyres and Michelin-sponsored drink bottle. But of course, this is all history. I sold the bike to a deserving young lad who was looking for a decent mtb to participate in the next Eco-Challenge.

Am I without a bike now? No, ‘coz I just bought a new one as a Father’s Day gift. I didn’t have to, but the new bike is too sexy to ignore. I am not sure whether it was the high tech look or the light weightiness of the material, but my normally quite restrained mindset seemed to metamorphose as soon as I laid my eyes upon the carbon mtb.

Allow me to introduce you to my new SARS Demon mtb. Made entirely of carbon fibre – the exact material that shapes Formula One cars, the Demon is so light it goes uphill like it has wings. Look under the fine lacquer finish and ogle at that sexy fibre weave. The frame joints are so smooth without a trace of weld. Carbon fibre is not all about beauty and strength. I figured…if I must buy my last bike, it has to be the one that really stands the test of time. And yes, carbon fibre doesn’t rust, dent or bend.


Expensive? Well, let’s just say I had to sell off my ‘ol skool choppers, all three of them, just to help fund the purchase of my carbon queen.

Names die hard

Two things that inspired my blog post today. One is Bruce Willis' latest movie, Die Hard 4.0. Two, I was spring cleaning (any idea how the expression “spring cleaning” came about?) when I found an AutoCAD software CD which I thought was useful for my friend who is studying industrial design.

He said the software is Version 4.1 and therefore obsolete because currently AutoCAD’s software is Version 6.5 Release 4.

(Pause)

Ok, let’s assess this. If there’s a Release 4, there must be 3 releases before it. Why can’t they call it Version 6.9? Or simply Version 9.0?

I remember playing the Street Fighter arcade game long time ago. It was followed by Street Fighter 2, which was an updated version with more characters and “cooler” moves. Then came Street Fighter 2 Turbo, which had smoother actions and movements that were probably choreographed by Jean Claude Van Damme. Nice. Tekken was just beginning but the Street Fighter series continued with Street Fighter 2 Turbo Special Edition. Nicer. But somehow, for some strange reasons, the game makers refused to call it Street Fighter 3.

I read about a guy who had money to spend on cars and could not decide between Subaru Impreza WRX Turbo Prodrive P1 (rally specific) and Subaru Impreza WRX Turbo STi Spec-C (tuned for circuit racing, hence “Spec-C”). Of course, that was after he crossed out the Subaru Impreza 22B Coupe and the Subaru Impreza RB (Richard Burns) Signature Model from the list.

If you are considering buying the latest Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution (a rally-bred version of the Lancer family saloon), you know you won’t be asking for an Evo 8 (labeled as Evo VIII). Instead, you would be asking for an Evo 9 (labeled as Evo IX), which apparently is no longer available as it was replaced by the Evo 9 Tommy Makinen Edition. THAT too is out of production because the latest one is called the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 9 MR FQ 360.

If you can wait, perhaps you may see the Evo 10 (labeled as Evo X) in showrooms late this year. Unless of course, the people at Mitsubishi decide to call their latest creation the Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 9 Tommy Makinen Edition FQ 360 GTi Type-R Spec-C Version 2 Release 4 Special Anniversary Model.

If you must buy a brand new car for transportation

You are not looked at as well off if you drive a Nissan Sentra. You are not considered cool if you drive a Honda City. You are not deemed successful if you own a Toyota Vios. You are not of any higher class if you bought a Chevrolet. I’m speaking as a true car enthusiast, so my opinion may not count to you. But in the real world of all things automotive, driving those cars I mention are some of the ways to demonstrate anybody’s lack of interest in cars. Why we buy them anyway? For the vogue? For practicality? Give me a break! No. Better, give me a Proton Juara. Now that’s practical!

Cars in vogue are like teenage pop music. At worst, they are Tommy Page’s songs. They help you socialize, then they suck out your self-esteem so bad you wish you had no association with them in the first place. On the other hand, practical cars are like Wilson Phillips’ songs (note: this has got nothing to do with Chynna Phillips’ buxom chest. I KNEW you would relate me to THAT!). The songs are easy to listen to and don’t hurt your ego when you grow old. You could listen to them now like an old shoe that still has the ability to take you places of fresh perspectives and emotions. Adult contemporary. That’s the kind of cars you should be driving. Adult contemporary. Don’t waste your time on vogue.

Although I am now campaigning cycle-to-work, I acknowledge the fact that most of us still need the car. When deciding on a brand new car, car magazine reviews are not valid in this country. Your bank account is. So in order to save the economy of our country and ourselves, here are my Top Four cars you can consider if you must buy a car. Only if you must.

Toyota Avanza – This car sits 7 people, yet compact. Mini MPV works, and this one goes up a notch because it has aircon vents for rear passengers and the reliable Toyota DVVT engine.

Any Proton – except the Wira (unless you want to turn it into a taxi) and the Iswara sedan (even if you want to turn it into a taxi).

Any Perodua – except the Kancil. Yes I love the Kancil, but against quality, it is overpriced now.

Any BMW – except the Z3 (unless it is a coupe), the X3 (unless you are as ugly) and the 1-series (unless you are a woman). The other number Series, Z series and M series are ok. Just don’t get the convertible versions (unless you’re metro-sexual).

Of course you know, our kids are going to pay for our car-culture.

p/s. 1

BMWs are not Wilson Phillips though. They are more like Joni Mitchell meets Pearl Jam - they excite your endorphin and tease your testosterone.

p/s. 2
I think I’ll drop by Tower Records today and pick up Wilson Phillips’ first album just for old time sake. After all, one CD only costs half of my gas tank, which I already saved by 2-days of cycling to work.

I am a star

I am featured in the Star newspaper today!

http://thestar.com.my/metro/story.asp?file=/2007/6/13/central/17949987&sec=central

And since morning I have been receiving complimentary phone calls, SMSs and e-mails. Some even thought I was a fitness freak and that cycling in town is dangerous.

Let me tell you something – I am NOT a fitness freak, although it is a fact that cycling keeps my tummy tucked. I suggest you cycle too - you know I know that you know how good it feels to be able to wear again that pair of Levi’s you bought 5 years ago!

Cycling is a naturally romantic thing to do - feeling the breeze, experiencing the sunrise and the sunset and occasionally tasting the rain. And I am just being what I am – romantic!

And it’s not any more dangerous than being in a car. Only when you stop in the middle of traffic do you breathe in noxious vehicle fumes. As long as you keep moving, your lungs are clean. Studies have also shown that drivers stuck in traffic are more likely to inhale dangerous gases, even when the windows are all up. On the other hand, the cyclist, being higher that exhaust pipes, is free from dirty air including his own fart.

And how can a light vehicle powered by the rider’s own feet be more dangerous that the heavy and environmentally unfriendly motorcar with an engine run by flammable fuel and brought to life via spark ignition?

Back to being a star…I also appeared in Chinese newspaper Sin Chew Jit Poh 2 days ago and prior to that, in NSTonline and Bernama.com.

Ok, I’m ready to sign autographs. Who’s first?

Proton: The Endless Saga & The Legacy

Proton registered a pre-tax loss of RM620 million for the financial year ended 31 March 2007. Now THAT is the most annoying and disturbing thing next to the Sembilu movie series.

RM620 million is an obscene amount of money. We are not talking RM6 million. Not RM20 million. Not even RM100 million. But RM620 miilion of Khazanah’s money, which belongs to YOU when you pay your taxes!

Proton gave the 38% decrease in sales as reason for this huge loss. Accepted, but I believe there is more than that. With build quality being the endless issue, I believe there are people in Proton making extra income.

Of course, Khazanah is in talks, as we speak, with VW to find a strategic partner. Question is, does Proton really need a partner? What happened to Mitsubishi? And why VW? The last time Proton tried with Citroen, they ended up with the cheap Tiara with expensive maintenance that went obsolete the moment it left the showroom.

What a shame, because Proton, as proven by the Gen2 and Satria Neo, can stand alone without a partner, provided they solve all internal problems and quality issues. And stop making commercial mistakes. The Waja was a decent car, but they made a mistake by comparing it to BMW. Get this into your head, Proton – you can never beat BMW. It’s a fact even the Japanese have accepted. Swallow it and move on. Vary your designs, so that I am not driving the same car as the taxi driver beside me. Be humble in your statements. Keep a low profile in your tag lines. Don’t swell your head making advertisement claims. Be a more responsible corporate citizen!

As for end users, I am calling everybody to consider Proton for their next purchase of a brand new car. Don’t put your money on foreign cars no matter how tempting they may be. Our economy is not getting any better, and you know it. Don’t make it worse by punishing Proton. As Malaysians, let us be more responsible. It’s a legacy we leave for future generations of Malaysians, if not our own children.

Remember the ad series for Patek Philippe watches which read, "You never actually own a Patek Philippe. You merely look after it for the next generation." While we may not speak the same of the cars’ longevity, timeless beauty, and value as a family heirloom in the case of Proton, we do speak of the country’s well-being. This emotive approach is bolstered by another wise saying about preserving the environment, “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children”.

Burn Fat; Not Fuel

It’s World Environment Day today. I remember back in the mid to late ‘70s where the weather forecast could tell what we were going to experience the next day up to the minute detail. If the weatherman said it would rain tomorrow evening at 4.00pm, it would rain at 4.00pm. Nowadays, it is just “morning showers/clear evenings/thunderstorms expected elsewhere”.

Everybody’s talking about planting trees and saving energy. You know as well as I do that one of the biggest culprits to pollution is the motorcar.

Therefore, the only solution is to NOT use the car, or use it LESS.
The more we drive, the more we pollute. The less we drive, the less we produce greenhouse gas.

Don’t get me wrong. I love cars. But environmental conditions do not encourage the use of motor vehicles.

Let’s campaign Cycle2Work.

Maybe employers can play their part by giving incentives:
1. Company pays cash “meal” allowance of RM10 per cyclist per cycling day. The more days an employee cycles, the more he/she earns.

2. Company provides hire-purchase plan for bicycles, so everybody can afford a good quality bike.

3. Company’s Sports Club organizes bicycle-related events. This will promote bike purchase.

4. Company installs shower facilities and bike racks at the covered parking lot.

5. Company holds short courses on how to cycle in traffic, simple bike maintenance and minor bike repair.

The reason why companies should support this campaign is because it is a clear CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility). By promoting Cycle2Work, we can prove to the stakeholders, and public at large, and much to the satisfaction of NGOs like Greenpeace etc that we ARE a company that cares for the environment, safety and health. Cycle2Work will be our contribution to sustainability.

Employees don’t need to cycle “everyday” if they don’t want to. Once a week is a good start. Three times a week is a good practice, so you can bring pre-ironed clothes on days you take the car. To run the campaign, there are several period options:
1. Campaign it all year round

2. Pick a day of the month. Eg. Every first Wednesday of every month

3. Choose a good week, perhaps in conjunction with New York Cycle to Work Week etc.

4. Find a health-related day. Eg in conjunction with World Health Day/ World Diabetes Day/ World Heart Day etc.

5. Select an environment-related day. Eg World Water Day/ World Environment Day/ other global warming initiatives.

Trust me. Cycling to work is possible. And if at least half of the employees ride their bicycles to work, can you imagine how much cleaner, cooler, safer, quieter and healthier our environment would be? Imagine the effect of a car-less world. Imagine!

Sustainability. Think about it.

Just what is it did the doctor order?

The Malaysian Government is spending a lot of money for campaigning healthy lifestyle so that people live life so healthy that they visit the hospitals and clinics less frequently.

At the same time, the Government is also spending a lot of money to improve the facilities in hospitals and enhance their services. More and bigger hospitals are either being built or in the pipeline to cater for the number of patients that is expected to grow.

Aye, what gives? We encourage people to take public transportation and car-pool and yet build highway tunnels so that more cars can go into the cities?

Well ok, so the bigger and better hospitals are for accident cases, not for treating disease-inflicted patients, the number of which should decrease once the healthy lifestyle campaign is successful. You don’t say. The last time I heard, the world’s biggest death causes are not accidents, but diabetes and stroke!

There’s more. I just found out that a study reveals that 90,000 people die in hospitals in the US every year due to medical error (wrong prescription, poor surgical performance, system malfunction etc). Ninety thousand! That’s like having an airbus of 500 passengers crashing 15 times a month for a year! If the US, known to have the world’s best hospitals with the world’s best medical service system can make mistakes, do you have any idea how much medical negligence we are actually covering up for our local hospitals?

Global Warning: The future of the car is bleak

No, there’s no typo. I mean to say Global Warning, not Global Warming. Being an avid car enthusiast I fear that we may never see a REAL car – a car that is worth driving and looking at!

From Bladerunner and 5th Element to Demolition Man and Minority Report; and recently depicted in I-Robot, you’ve seen it all in the movies – how the car will one day self-drive and look like a condom stuffed with your vibrating handphone – smooth, slippery shape with no adrenaline inducing sound to be heard except electricity murmur. That one day is not that far off.

Look at the current crop of cars around you. They don’t excite you, do they? Even if they do, they do only for a couple of weeks. Then they just blend in so much so that you don’t even notice you actually own them. The sad part is, mass public is accepting this change with open arms (and wallets). They just buy the latest one that they can afford out there without the slightest idea of what driving is all about, if they are at all driving to begin with.

It would be a relief if say, people choose reliability over aesthetics. But no. They actually buy a brand trusted for reliability and actually BELIEVE it looks good.

When was the last time you really stared at you car? Or spend hours just to look at it from different angles, under different lights?

I have always said this to my friends: that if you don’t turn around to catch a glimpse of your car after you have parked, locked and walked away from it, it’s not worth buying in the first place.

Scrap "Project Scrap"

You knew this was coming from me!

A proposal was forwarded (ultimately to all Malaysians) to scrap their 15-year old car for a RM5,000 voucher, which can be used as downpayment to purchase new Proton cars (see NST 23 April 2007 - "Used cars clamped by drop in sales"). The proposal, drafted by the Federation of Motor and Credit Companies Association of Malaysia said the move would improve sales of Proton cars in an effort to enhance our automotive industry.

Improve sales my foot!

I am not sure if the scraping of the car for the RM5,000 voucher is voluntary or mandatory, but either way, would you buy a car if you knew it was going to be scraped in 15 years time? Everybody wants to pay for something that they will eventually own. I admit, value of cars depreciates unlike properties, but like everything you have paid for, it must, to a certain extent belong to you. This proposal is taking away ownership from the car owner.

Also, I wouldn’t want to be tied down with car loans for the rest of my life. And how many people can actually afford the monthly payment of a brand new car? Most of us are on the banks’ black list anyway.

If you had bought a brand new car at age 28, you’d have no car by the time you reach 43 years old. You’d only have RM5,000 in a voucher. If you decide to use the voucher, you’d be car-less again by 58. You’d retire with no car but RM5,000 - this time in a useless voucher.

So much for enhancing the automotive industry!

I am only viewing this from a car-for-transport perspective. I could write another paragraph on “classic” cars alone. But enough to let you know that my 23-year old car is worth RM15,000.

Good Wednesday Morning!

What a great day to wake up to! It rained all night, but the sky was so clear this morning I could smell the clouds.

The slightly misty morning was chilly too, but I wanted to feel the fog so I kept my windbreaker in my backpack and simply enjoyed the wind. I came across a few school boys on bicycles who, upon seeing me, saluted me with respect.

As I reached Hospital Tunku Ampuan Rahimah, another rider, complete with helmet, FOX jersey, gloves and cycling shoes came up fast from behind, then slowed down alongside me giving us both the chance to say “hi” to each other. After that, he accelerated so quickly, I didn’t quite keep up. But I realized he wasn’t sweating, so I figured he probably just started, while I had covered 10 km earlier. And besides, his bike looked like a lighter kind and he didn’t carry a backpack.

When I got to the Port Klang roundabout, the traffic policeman actually stopped the cars to allow me to make a 3-o’clock maneuver. THAT’s how much VIP treatment a bicycle rider gets compared to a car driver. Pedaling through the little Indian town, I ran into a flock of pigeons. Some flew off. Some just stayed to feel my wheels brushing by. Flying feathers, bird shit smell, I experienced them all.

I stopped to give a man directions to the train station, for otherwise he, who seemed so lost, would not have anyone around to ask, as everybody was fast in their cars and motorbikes trying to complete the rat race. As I cycled up the bridge crossing the river, I passed an elderly Sikh man on an old “Rolex” bicycle and greeted him, “Good morning”.

I think today my cycling boosted my “karma”, strengthened my “chi” and enhanced my personality somewhat.

Nothing really matters...but what if it does?

Here is a premise you don’t like to hear: You have paid RM3,000 for a downpayment of a brand new Kenari.

(Footnote: I have nothing against Kenari. This is just example. You could sample a Toyota Wish if you so wish, and just change the figures accordingly).

Since you don’t want high monthly installment, you stretch the loan up to 9 years. Now you have committed to a “lowly” RM535 per month. By the time you have finished the loan, you would have paid RM535 X 12months X 9years + RM3,000 = RM60,780.

The retail price of the Kenari is RM41,000. You have just wasted RM19,780 worth of retirement savings. And that’s not my only point.

In 9 years, you would have rotated and balanced your wheels 18 times, sent for oil service no fewer than 27 times, replaced all your belts twice, changed tyres twice, changed battery twice, renewed your insurance policy and paid your roadtax 8 times, and probably filled up your aircon gas 3 times. Rough calculation suggests that you would have spent about RM10,000 on all of the above. Again, that’s just point number 2.

All these cost factors of course, exclude other unforeseen maintenance costs .i.e parts breakdown, tow service, minor dents that you’d take care of. They also do not take into account your daily petrol, toll fee, parking fare and traffic summons, which, if you consider them all, you would have wasted more than RM100,000. And you pollute the air too, you, you, you freaking flat faced fanatic!

(Footnote: You don’t have to be flat faced in this article, but I just want to impress you with my alliteration. THAT and making fun of people without nose bridge is a surefire laugh!)

By the time you realize all these expenses, your Kenari is feeling tired, and you will start to think that…(Choose one of 2 options):

1. Commuting by bicycle makes sense
2. The MyVi Special Edition looks darn good.

If you choose Option 1 and start riding, you would save more than RM40,000 by the time you retire. More if you consider other more expensive cars. That’s more than what Takaful can give you in 9 years. And that’s not even an investment. That’s just savings.

If you choose Option 2, the whole premise begins again. When you retire, you are broke. And you end up with a car that has so much space but no passengers because all your children have grown up and they have their own cars to waste money on.

So my main point is this, if it doesn’t matter to you to waste RM100 grand or more, why blow it all on a stupid piece of crap? I’d say, get a sportscar. A Lotus Elise or something, you nugget nosed numbskull!

(Footnote no longer necessary)

Let's not kid ourselves

We can’t afford a car. That includes the hire-purchased car you are driving now (if you are still hire-purchasing one).

Unless we can afford another car just like it, we are in no comfortable position to own it. That also means, if you plan to own 2 cars, you should be able to afford 4 in reality. And I don’t have to tell you why.

Have you missed an oil service? Do you wait until you can see ripped Kevlar canvas peeling from the tyres before you change them? And when you finally change your tyres, do you try to find the cheapest available? Do you send your car for a knock and paint job immediately if it has minor collision? Or do you wait until you find out how much it’ll cost and how much you have left after you’ve settled all your monthly bills? Or do you wait until there are other dents and scratches in other areas so that you could do a total makeover? Does the annual roadtax and insurance policy renewal affect your budget?

If you answer yes to all these, you belong to the majority of Malaysians who can’t afford their cars. The minority who can are either plain rich or smart financial planner. Or a bit of both. Smart financial planners aren’t necessarily rich. They can afford an Audi A6, but they buy the Toyota Camry. They deserve a Maserati Quattroporte, but they go for the Mercedes E-class. They like a Honda Jazz, but they settle for the Perodua MyVi. They can afford a RM1,000 monthly installment, but they go for the RM500 per month convenience. See the pattern? You have to have extra cash to be comfortable with your hire-purchase.

There’s more to owning a car than just driving it like it is the trendiest outfit. Take the front suspension for example. Shock absorbers usually last 5 years in average. If they are leaking and mess up their rebound, and you forget to inspect them, they will cause irregular wear on your tyres. Your tyres will lose their balance and alignment affecting the geometry of the steering rack. After a while the steering rack breaks and leaks out fluid, damaging the pump, hose and the rack. One thing leads to another, and before you know it, your repair bill can actually start another hire-purchase!

So if you earn RM1,500 monthly and think you can afford RM700 per month installment, find a car that lets you pay RM350 per month and save the other RM350. If you earn RM5,000 a month and think you can afford that sexy Alfa 147 at RM1,300 per month, don’t indulge. Instead, find a car that drains only RM650 from your wallet every month.

Please don’t tighten your belt and squeeze your budget only to buy the latest car you think you deserve and then run it on the cheapest tyre you can find.

Naza, for now.

I was born in 1971, when women actually smoked for flavour (not for socializing) and men didn’t wear hairgrip to swipe back their fringe.

Since childhood, my hobbies included smiling (which I have perfected) and growing moustache trying to look like Sam Elliot (which I have stopped doing recently).

I’m telling you this as a point of reference, which I hope makes sense. You see, I grew up around my dad’s Ford Escort, a car with a clutch so heavy you’d need your whole body weight to move it. And the gear synchromesh was so “challenging”, you’d need to acquire surgeon’s precision to select a gear. Over the weekend I had the chance to test drive the Naza Bestari (otherwise known as the rebadge of the outdated base Peugeot 206). It’s been a while since I last drove a brand new car. Knowing it’s actually a Peugeot, I was poised for an ambience of early ‘70s Malaysia where Peugeots, like old Fords were manly cars. Seated in the car, I tried to maintain a gentlemanly posture, wishing that at least my driving position along with the clutchless sequential gearbox would put a smile on my face and probably grow a hair or two downwards on my upper lip. If I didn’t feel as manly as Sam Elliot, Marcus Gronholm would have been good enough. My God! The car was so underpowered I felt a bit gay.

I suppose I shouldn’t blame anybody, because if you look at Naza cars, they seem to rebadge every single girly car out there. The Bestari, the Citra, and the Suria. The Sutera may not be a rebadge, but it was probably designed by men who, after watching BrokeBack Mountain, wonder why we men have nipples.

The Naza Bestari sells for RM68k. Thanks. But no thanks. I’ll take the Proton Gen2 MME anytime.

The Road Not Selfishly Chosen...

…is the Road Less Travelled. Unfortunately, we left the junction so far back, it is impossible to make a U-turn.

Do you watch Desperate Housewives? Do you watch it because it’s got good “foreign” reviews, or because everyone else is watching it? Do you really enjoy watching it, or do you just feel you should watch it? Do you feel you’d be left behind if you miss an episode? Are you left out if you don’t keep up with the vogue?

Here's the deal: Nobody is left behind. We are all, right now, traveling on the road that we choose. Sometimes selfishly. Things are exactly what they are supposed to be. No more. No less.

Of course, no one decides, "I'm going to leave school with just enough grades to get into college, be a successful professional who can afford a comfortable house, and then I shall wonder why, after being married for 10 years, I didn’t meet much earlier the man/woman I just got to know"

Or "I'm going to abandon college only to realize that I will not be successful in pursuing my dream job, and so I will earn my wage doing things I don’t like but at least I will be happily married and can afford a car with power window problems."

No. We never get to choose like that, because the choice is not single and a one-off event. The choices are made every day, every hour, every moment.

To dine in or to take away? To buy that dress now when it’s on discount or to wait until you really need it? To read a book or to switch on that TV? To pursue what we want or to make do with what we have? To stay or to leave?

And in the big scheme of things, most people think they can freely choose what to do with their lives. But things have always been, will always be what they were/are supposed to be. After a lifetime of choosing, we are not left behind. We are left with the road we currently have.

And it was all of our own selfish choosing.

Is it me, or is it the society?

I have always wanted a job that would set my adrenaline racing and increase my pulse rates. But this job is about to give me a cardiac arrest!

My Annual Report deadline is near. I should be moving into colour separation next week, but my Final Artworks are no where near that stage. To add to the steam, I had to take the car to work yesterday because I had been cycling in the rain since Monday, and my cycling gears are all wet.

On my drive home yesterday, I decided to stop for a "teh tarik" at a "mamak" joint. Like it could not have been a better time, a young lad approached me and tried to sell me a raw and virgin Tongkat Ali root (scientifically known in the herbal industry as Longifolia Jack). He said it could give immediate results – about 5 times faster than Viagra.

I never needed Viagra.

But that’s not my point. I was approached once by a “Kunta Kinte” who had a briefcase of watches and tried to sell me one. I could understand because I wasn’t wearing a watch at that time. But I simply cannot come to grips what it is, for heaven’s sake, about my appearance that induced the boy to conclude that I needed the power root!

And what’s with the Malays and Tongkat Ali anyway?

Games I'll never play

Dart – the art of hitting a target with precision. If Ping pong is a miniature Tennis, then Dart is a miniature Archery. No proper attire needed. Dart players can play wearing a suit and tie, or jeans and leather jacket if they wish. Popular only in movies because it is very rare to bump into someone who is actually playing it. In spite of that, one may find dartboards mysteriously hung behind boys’ bedroom doors, at car workshops, at hangout bars and lounges, at music recording studios, at Disc Jockeys’ stations and in Snooker/Pool Club houses. While the idea of the game is to poke a “bullseye”, which is the middle part of the dartboard, one always finds a dartboard which is poked all over. Not recommended for children 10 years old and below, due to sharp objects with wings. Due to sharp objects too, it is not recommended for adults with mood swings.

Chess – perhaps the only way to exercise the brain after it has been drained of its juice by a hard day’s work. A very popular game with the young, the old, the poor and the rich. A chess set can be as simple as a piece of cardboard with plastic figurines, or as mind-boggling as an intricately designed set of pewter, silver or gold. The game is played extremely quietly as if the players are meditating, and silence is broken at the end of the game when the winner yells, “Checkmate!”. The yelling of “Checkmate” is usually preceded with a smile. No matter in which country the game is played, and what language the player speaks, the winner WILL yell “Checkmate!”. Chess is thought to be a game of the mind, and therefore, the winner is always thought to be of high I.Q. So if you are playing chess, you must win.

Sports I'll never play

Bowling – the act of gracefully arching the spine to exercise only one side of the body by rolling a hard heavy ball-like object while trying to eliminate the risk of falling silly on a slippery polished wooden flooring. To create more fun and challenge, players have special slick shoes that do not have any traction. Very popular around the world, especially with people who have nothing to do at home. Most major towns now have at least one bowling center, and the centers are usually located near Karaoke lounge, so don’t be surprised that most bowlers are also Karaoke singers. Movie about bowling that is worth watching is King Pin, starring Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson.

Football – also known as Soccer. A good display of teamwork where each member of a team exercises all parts of the body except the hands by controlling the trajectory of a ball. Usually played on a grass field. For the ultimate heroic action, players are required to wear shorts to get grass cuts on the knees. The hair on the calves however, is saved by knee-high socks. Extremely popular. Thousands of books and enthusiasts’ magazines are published weekly, fortnightly, monthly, bi-monthly and annually. Even websites of the game’s clubs and personalities are uploaded by the hundreds. Plenty of Hollywood, Bollywood and Asian cinema products on this game including the one which starred Sly Stallone and Brazilian legend, Pele. But your best viewing would probably be Shaolin Soccer.

Out Is Through

I never did like college. Leaving hometown for a few years to discover the advantage of group study and not having the slightest idea of what I was doing was not my idea of tertiary education. Neither was getting ragged by seniors who mysteriously had Winter, Spring, Summer & Fall in their calendar.

Not to say I regret either. I did learn a thing or two about life. Some, the hard way. But somehow, I made it through. Either by grade point average or otherwise, I made it through. It’s over. I don’t have to put up with New Kids On the Block or Debbie Gibson anymore.

The thing is, whatever heartbreaks we are going through right now will pass. We can try to find a way out. But all the time, there is no way out. Because the only way out is through.

So I’m going to take it easy and cheerfully accept divine decree. This heartbreak will pass. It will. I bet you.

Happy Tip #1

It just occured to me that sometimes, in order to be happy, all it takes is to make other people happy, even though we are not happy doing it.

Why I don't want to start a business

Starting a business…now THAT’s an attractive proposal. No boss. No official work time. No stress.

It crossed your mind too at one time. No? Don’t lie. I know. Because you see, when it comes to waging war, we all think the same. Business is like our armpits. Doesn’t matter what gender or race we are, the time when they smell bad, we all stink EXACTLY the same. Nobody produces a different smell.

You can give many reasons to start a business – more time with family, more flexible hours, more money etc. When I want to start a business, it’s always about passion. The thrill of living comes from passion. For example, I have passion for cars. And so it occurred to me to open up a shop/showroom to sell cars or car accessories or die-cast cars or anything and everything car. I also have passion for good books written by great writers. And so it occurred to me to set up a bookstore.

But what stopped me from pursuing my business? Money. Not for capital. But how much I would make. I might enjoy having my own business. I just don’t want money-managing gets in the way. It would spoil my enjoyment. So I’d rather work and earn my wage, and only care about how I’d spend it.

So starting a business isn’t always about the money. Not starting a business is.

I moustache you a question

I finally came to the decision that today was the day I should shave. Most parts of my body, and not just the face. But especially the face.

So there I was standing in the bathroom, in front of the mirror. Naked. And extremely muscular in all the wrong places. I am ugly. But that’s ok ‘cos so are you.

What I don’t understand is, why on earth and for heaven’s sake does my moustache grow upwards? If I pout my lips, my moustache will meet my nose hair and will stick like Velcro.

So with vengeful strokes of the sharpest shaving blade, I cropped them sonovabitches off my face and face the truth – I can never grow a moustache.

Toyota Vios is a ladies' car, confirmed

Whichever way you look at it, the Vios is a car made for women.

You must have seen the TV commercial where a guy bangs into a glass door, has himself accidentally splashed with water and experiences other unfortunate events and when he finally reaches his car (a Toyota Vios), a group of girls enviously comment, “Ooh, he is so lucky” (referring to him owning the car). Now, what can we say about the commercial?

1. Evidently displayed by a series of unfortunate events, the guy is portrayed as being unlucky. Unlucky. Period. And that would include owning the Vios. Lucky for a girl to own, but unlucky for a man!

2. The people who think that the guy owning the Vios is a lucky man are girls. So only female drivers should find the Vios appealing.

Like the Honda City and Hyundai Accent, the Vios is targeted to women drivers. Doesn’t matter if the City receives the Mugen treatment, or the Accent is the RS version, or the Vios fitted with TRD kit that includes lowered suspension, loud exhaust and high rise spoilers. If you are a real man, stay away from these models.

Need more proof that the Vios is not a man’s car? Try to locate where the vanity mirror is. No, you won’t find it at the back of the sunvisor on the passenger’s side. You’ll find it on the driver’s side! Bingo!

My car...'till death do us part

Mullet haircut, oversized clothes, synthesizer-rich music…what was there to like about the ‘80s? Almost everything about the 80’s was wrong, except of course, the automotive industry.

Audi gave us the Quattro setting the benchmark for 4WD systems on passenger cars. Peugeot gave us the 205, a hatch so hot, the latest incarnation, the 206 fails to uplive the original. Lancia gave us the Delta Intergrale and became one of world’s rally icons. Ferrari gave us their most beautiful creation, the 288 GTO and their Testarossa took the world by storm.

Here in Malaysia, nobody drives the Quattro. The 205 is extremely rare. The Delta was never introduced to the Malaysian public. And the prancing horses were too astronomous in maintenance cost even by the standards of the Malaysian rich and famous.

But thanks to the Almighty, BMW created the E30. When it first came out in Malaysia, only lawyers and doctors could afford it. Now, almost everybody can own this adorable baby bimmer. This is my fourth E30, and it's a 325i, meaning it's got 2.5 litre of manhood proppelled by 6 smooth cylinders churning out 170 horses. And I am blogging it because the last time I checked, there’s no brand new car out there that is worth buying!

Polygamy from another perspective

I am against polygamy. Not that it’s not permissible, because it is. Not because I can’t afford it, although I admit I can’t. But because I believe men (bar the prophet) can never be just. That’s from a man’s point of view. Now that I’ve set the record straight, let me talk about polygamy from a woman’s perspective.

Before I do that, let me put on my thinking bra and panties so that I’ll think like a woman. Wow, now THAT feels weird! I just realised that the distance between the belly button and the crotch is further in women.

Now let’s say I am either a single career woman or a 30 year old career mom of one kid whose husband passed away long enough for me to get it over. Destiny has it that I meet a 60 year old man who is stinking rich, married to a 55 year old woman and has “adult” kids. This man is healthy, looks good for his age and haven’t had sex since the wife menopaused about 8 years ago. I am not saying he’s hitting on me, because he’s not. He’s just being a good friend. But me, a mid-age widow who doesn’t feel attractive, obviously enjoy the attention I get.

Like any woman, I am against polygamy.

I don’t know how this friendship will end. Should we remain as friends, then all is well. Should I end up being his 2nd wife…not to say all is hell, but I‘d like to emphasise that his wealth is not the reason why I am with him because I have a career which I can survive on. But his wealth is the reason why I approve polygamy in his case because he can afford it, unlike some men who marry more than one and end up being broke and bring depression to the entire marriage institution.

So should we end up together as husband and wife, does that make me a husband-snatcher? Bear in mind that this is no Jolie-between-Aniston-&-Pitt scenario. This is 30-year-old-between-60-and-55-year-olds scenario.

I never thought being a woman can be this confusing. The bra and panties don’t help. I’m taking them off now.

Comments anyone? And please don’t give me that “No woman would be happy to see her husband taking another wife” notion. I am aware of that and in total agreement.

4 years more to being 40...

...14 years more to reach the big five O, and 24 years to go before I should consider myself dead. I know this sounds morbid, but the average age a man dies is 60 years.

To realise you don't have much time is one thing. To do something about it is another. And I don't mean increasing the lifespan, but how can you make every minute a worthwhile life?

Today I take the opportunity to wish myself and those born on the same date Happy Birthday!

Did you also know that today is International Women's Day?

Coincidence...or Missing Link?

This is about me, my sons Hud and Adam; and one of my favourite artists John Mellencamp (JM).

JM put together his first band at the age of 17, covering songs, one of which was James Brown's "I'm Your Puppet". Coincidentally, one of my previous jobs was actually as a puppeteer. Remember TV shows Along and Jojo & Friends?

At the age of 17, I was heavily involved in automobiles, with Porsche being the second biggest subject matter. That was when I learned that the Porsche Speedster, in which late actor James Dean crashed, was dubbed Little Bastard. Coincidentally, JM, being a fan of James Dean, nicknamed himself Little Bastard as a producer for his albums. The name James Dean also appeared in his song Jack & Diane.

Thanks to my dad (abah) who was a hi-fi freak, I grew up listening to Rickie Lee Jones (RLJ). When I formed a band, I called it Know One Nose, the name of RLJ's music publishing house. We played nothing but JM's songs. Coincidentally, around the same time, JM cut a duet with RLJ.

Before I even got married, I had an inspiration to call my son Hud, should I have a son in the future. When I got engaged, JM cut an album called Mr Happy Go Lucky. It featured his son on the album cover. That was when I learned that his son was also named Hud. Coincidence?

I was having another inspiration that should I get another daughter, I would call her Adila (Arabic, meaning "just" or "fair") when I discovered afterwards that JM's second daughter is also named Justice. Coincidence again?

Before I got into playing music, my interest has always been art and paintings. I wanted to attend art school and learn automotive design. When dad couldn't afford to send me to an art school, I secretly learned to play the guitar, and quietly erased my passion for "painting". Coincidentally, around the same time, JM wrote a song called Play Guitar!

After the albums Lonesome Jubilee and Big Daddy, JM had a nervous breakdown. He stopped playing music for a year and got into paintings! Ironically, I quit painting totally and got into music. Then, apart writing songs, JM began to run an Art Center in Seymour Jackson County, while I ran a music studio in Subang Jaya.

The initial JM also stands for Joni Mitchell, another one of my favorite songwriters and painters. Joni became popular in the ‘70s around the same time as James Taylor, Janis Joplin, Jackson Brown and Cat Stevens. Joni is considered the most artistic because she is a painter, a poet and a songwriter. She has always been an inspiration to people like JM, rock group Counting Crows and me. JM and me derive inspiration from the same source? Coincidence?

When Cat Stevens embraced Islam, he changed his name to Yusuf. Coincidence? When I got my second son, I named him Adam. Coincidentally, Adam Duritz is the singer-songwriter of Counting Crows!

The same year I got Adam, Sheryl Crow recorded "The First Cut is the Deepest", a classic song written by Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)! What a coincidence!

You are not going to believe this...last weekend I played back some of Joni Mitchell's albums which I haven't played for a long time. I was looking at the sleeve notes when I discovered that her music publisher is Crazy Crow Music BMI!

Coincidentally, Sheryl Crow's music publishing house is Old Crow BMI!

And here are more coincidences -

My son Adam (who shares the same name as the Counting Crows band leader) was born in 2003, the same year Counting Crows recorded a cover version of Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi". Coincidentally, Joni recorded Big Yellow Taxi in 1971, which was the year I was born!

A year after Adam was born, which is also a year after Counting Crows remade Big Yellow Taxi, which is 2004, Sheryl Crow did a remake of The First Cut is the Deepest - a song originally written by Cats Stevens a.k.a Yusuf Islam!

This thing is getting freakier and freakier!

My first two children, Hud and Hannah, were born in Seremban. Adam was the only one who was born in Klang, a town full of crows.

Coincidence?

Or perhaps...a missing link? :)

My Rear End is Nicer by Year End

While I may not exactly be God’s gift to women, cycling will be the beginning of my very own long term personal contribution to society. As I put forth my priority as a caring citizen, and embark on my very own flagship PSR (Personal Social Responsibility), I will focus on 7 core areas (apart from improving the shape of my buttock by end of the year) namely:

Environmental Protection: With bicycle, I manage to preserve the environment by minimising the consumption of resources (petrol especially) and pollution (such as noise and air). The light-weightiness of the bicycle is also non-damaging to the tarmac and natural contours of the earth, which I appreciatively relate to the curves of a woman’s body.

Community Involvement: Cycling to work is sociable because I am part of the environment; rather than seeing the environment through a windscreen. As I pass through neigbourhoods, I am able to flash a smile and even greet people especially the elderly, and even children waiting for the bus. I don’t just look at trees. I smell them. I don’t just watch the sunrise and sunset. I feel them. I become more romantic naturally.

Employer Welfare: Cycling to work is a great way to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I arrive at work alert and feeling energized, ready to make the most of the day. A company would really benefit from one fit (and romantic) employee. The office parking lot will have one extra space. I do not give out greenhouse emissions and therefore I contribute to the success of ISO 14001 certification audits.

Social Service: With cycling, I am the voice of the population who cries in desperation for lower petrol price, car price (but higher quality), toll rates, roadtax, and for better and safer roads and public transportation. I do not annoy my neighbours with the sound of an engine, I minimise traffic congestion, and at the same time, I inspire others to be more creative in economic planning.

Human Rights: With cycling, I am exercising my right to rest and leisure, right to an adequate standard of living, and right to simply exercise! Because without cycling to work, I have no chance of vigorous physical activity since I’ll be stuck in traffic jam for one hour in the morning and another hour after work. Plus 8 hours in the office, that’s 10 hours sitting in air-cond room! Moreover, cycling enables me to dictate my own commute and traffic rules; and therefore helps me exercise my right to freedom!

Family Bonding: Cycling not only makes me a healthy (and romantic, don’t you forget that!) member in the family, it also takes away all work-related stress from every turn of the pedal, so I come home stress-free. As cycling is a cheap way to travel, my family budget improves. And with the petrol money I save, I can take my family on a weekend outing for a sumptuous seafood or something.

Healthcare: Cycling is a simple low-impact way to improve health that doesn’t feel like exercise, as opposed to jogging (which can develop arthritis) or aerobic (which is boring, especially if you are doing it all by yourself in front of instructional video). Cycling has potential to protect one from cancer, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, anxiety, depression and a host of other common health problems. By cycling 25km to work, and another 25km home, I overshoot the 30min-a-day physical exercise recommended by health experts.

For once in our lives, let’s do the ride thing – cycle!

Why should YOU cycle?

Because it is....
Good For You:
Regular cyclists enjoy a fitness level equal to that of a person ten years younger. (Source: National Forum for Coronary Heart Disease Foundation, Sharp)
Cycling at least twenty miles a week reduces the risk of heart disease to less than half that for non-cyclists who take no other exercise (Source: British Heart Foundation, Morris)
If one third of all short car journeys were made by bike, national heart disease rates would fall by between 5 and 10 percent (Bikes not Fumes, CTC, 1992). Info from BikeBiz, with thanks.
During rush-hour, a bicycle is about twice as fast as a car - good if you hate traffic jams!

Good For Your Wallet:
Bicycles require no road tax, no PUSPAKOM tests, no insurance, no licensing, no breakdown recovery services, and above all no fuel bills (unless you count confectionery bars!).
A good bicycle needs at most about RM300-worth of maintenance a year - less if you do a bit yourself. How much does your car need?
A good bicycle will last for years, if not decades. How long did your previous car last?
A bicycle can be parked just about anywhere, so no more expensive car park bills.

Good For Your World:
Twenty bicycles can be parked in the same space taken up by one car.
To make a bicycle requires only a fraction of the materials and energy needed to make a car.
Bicycles produce absolutely no pollution - they are a lot quieter too. When was the last time you saw a rusting, burnt-out bicycle?
Cars kill and maim thousands of people every year - bicycles don’t.

Goodbye stress!

It's been a long day at work. Frustrations, irritations and vexations have been the predominant themes. And now you have to wait for a bus, squash onto a train or sit in a traffic jam. A bad day just got worse. Alternatively, imagine at the end of the same stressful shift, unlocking your bike and riding away. You're in charge of your own commute. The exercise burns off any negative emotions and it counts towards the 30 minutes a day activity target recommended by health experts. You even save money. You're free.

Well, that's exactly what I did on 6 February 2007. I cycled to work!

No one thought it was possible considering the distance and the wild Malaysian weather. But I did it!

What I found amusing about it was that it usually takes me 1 hour to drive to work due to traffic, but it takes me 1 hour 10 minutes to cycle! I might as well cycle!

Goodbye traffic jams & high petrol price!

Somebody reward me!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I have finally quit smoking. For good!

Have you checked your glove compartment lately?

I have, and found everything but gloves.

Let me see…a diaper, dried wet-tissue, 2 inkless pens, business card of someone I have forgotten, expired road tax discs of 2002 and 2003, a couple of McD’s ketchup sachets, a useless lighter and a Lenny Kravitz cassette box without the cassette tape.

Evidently, I have never kept a misfolded roadmap or toll tickets in my glove compartment!

So what’s in YOUR glove compartment?

3 Hottest Topics this week

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

One is the World Cup, which is not my cup (pun not intended) of tea. So I won’t talk about it. It hurts my knee just by mentioning football. What more kicking it.

Another is the production of Proton Satria Neo, which I think is a great looking car with a well-thought-out features (yes, it has a glovebox this time) and probably, just probably, a well-thought-out price tag that should (shouldn’t it?) lurch public from dumping their money on new foreign cars. At least that’s the oracle in the automotive matrix. Proton’s new trinity (Gen2/Savvy/Neo) has potential in abundance and it’s only a matter of “reality check” before you realise what a rip-off foreign cars have been. To this day, the Gen2 in white remains my “morpheus” for I can only dream about it due to financial constraints (All puns relating to the Matrix movie intended).

The other hot topic is the Yusry KRU – Erra Fazira split. So hot that even TV3 ran a SMS poll to see how many people thought they were not meant for each other. What the…? First thing came out from every body upon hearing the news was, “What a waste!”. Of course it’s nobody’s business (or money) how much Yusry had spent on his wedding. Telecommunication companies thought otherwise, though. But a waste is a waste nonetheless.

I have never been comfortable with big weddings. Mostly because they always end up with a divorce. It’s sad. Are big weddings really the expression of love? Is togetherness in organizing a wedding a reflection of sharing? I don’t mind attending a big wedding. I do mind having one. Wedding photo albums just make it worse. Photos are like screensavers. They get ditched. Don’t have the slightest idea that they strengthen ties. They are just illusions. Women may have different views about photos, but they are the ones who usually ask for big weddings. And divorce is making official what is in reality a love lost. So some married people are divorced. They just don’t know that they are. How scary.

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels,
the dizzy dancing way that you feel
as every fairy tale comes real;
I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show.
And you leave 'em laughing when you go
and if you care, don't let them know,
don't give yourself away.
I've looked at love from both sides now,
from give and take, and still somehow
it's love's illusions that I recall.
I really don't know love at all.
- Joni Mitchell, 1968 –

When it comes to matters of the heart, it’s the heart that matters more.
How many rooms do we have in our hearts?
Can we lock their doors and open only one?
Shutting the heart from fellow creatures would be selfish.
Breaking it would be selfless, and probably the best thing to do.
Works all the time.
May Allah keep us all in His blessings! Ameen!

For your eyes only

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Sorry I haven’t been blogging. I contracted conjunctivitis.

I was on medical leave for the whole of last week. Conjunctivitis is contagious. I got it from my nephew. I passed it on back to her mom, who passed it on to her sister, who passed it on to her husband, who passed it on to his daughter, and God knows to whom it will go from there.

It started on Friday night (2 June) when all my children were recovering from eye infection, courtesy of breast milk (the recovering, NOT the infection). I felt an itch in my left eye, but never suspected anything. So it was business as usual as I scratched to find a loose eyelash, except this time, I could not find any. Nevertheless, scratching was irresistible, and the sensation I felt after getting rid of the itch was orgasmic. What a quickie relief!

First lesson learned – Don’t go for a quickie relief every time you feel an itch!

The real aftermath, of course, was when I woke up on Saturday to find my left eye swollen with vengeful virus. Oh well, if breast milk worked on my children, it should work on me. Or so I thought! I woke up on Sunday with both eyes bloody, and with one bigger than the other. My right eye looked like I just swapped with Garfied’s infamous half-open, and my left eye looked like Kermit the Frog’s. For once, I really believed that I look like Keanu Reeves with a plastic surgery gone horribly wrong!

Second lesson learned – What’s good for children may not necessarily be good for adults, shampoo included!

The doc gave me no oral antibiotics for my infection. Only eyedrops. Which apparently not only drops into my eyes, but internally into my nostril and eventually into my throat. If you think bitter gourd was God of all bitterness, then the eyedrop must be one bitchy bitter goddess.

Hope you guys had a better week!

Remembering my first vehicle - the Dating-mobile

I call it vehicle, as a Perodua Kancil is not what I’d usually call a car. Like you know…when you watch Baywatch and not consider it soft porn.

(Pause)

Well ok, bad metaphor. Anyway, my first ride was a Kancil, and as any man in his right mind will tell you, it’s far from being as charming as the Mini.

My ownership was more a case of “I didn’t have a choice” rather than “It was my choice”. Then again, it could’ve been worse. Yet then again, what could be worse than the snail of automobiles?

If you think speed is not one of Kancil’s virtues, you haven’t confirmed your opinion with a 660cc engine and automatic gearbox yet. The only other car I ever managed to overtake was either a non-moving one, or another 660 Auto Kancil driven by an old lady. To those who think that speed kills, think again. I almost got hit head on by oncoming traffic for failing to get back in line during an overtaking maneuver.

I don’t want to slam the Kancil so much, though. It did serve its purpose. It did transport me from point A to point B. Eventually.

But I’d like to reminisce the rolling good times I had with it.

Interior space was cramped. Surprise, surprise. It was more like having a bucket cockpit rather than a bucket seat. And “cock-pit” had never been so aptly termed. The steering wheel was so big, I could literally steer it with my knees.

And the seat, it was so flat and slippery that, if I took a sharp right hand bend at high speed (relatively speaking), I would end up sitting on the handbrake. And if I took an even sharper right hand bend at even higher speed (speed relative to first example above), I would end up on my passenger’s lap. Which would be OK if it was Carmen Electra. Not so if it was my mom-in-law!

Grip was never in the Kancil’s book of handling, interior or exterior. Never had I taken a corner without the front tyres squealing for mercy. I finally changed the 12” wheels to 13” and put on wider rubber to improve grip. Cornering was then much better, but I wasn’t sure whether the bigger, wider and heavier wheels actually enhanced grip or simply slowed me down to a non-screeching level.

But, it was a joy. A perfect dating mobile. The tailgate opened upwards in a 90 degree position to make a great “moon-roof” tent. This will sound like a cliché, but parking was a breeze, side or reverse.

YOU can’t write about your car with so much passion, can you? Oh well, drive safe guys. Remember, speed doesn’t kill. Lack of it does!