Nothing really matters...but what if it does?

Here is a premise you don’t like to hear: You have paid RM3,000 for a downpayment of a brand new Kenari.

(Footnote: I have nothing against Kenari. This is just example. You could sample a Toyota Wish if you so wish, and just change the figures accordingly).

Since you don’t want high monthly installment, you stretch the loan up to 9 years. Now you have committed to a “lowly” RM535 per month. By the time you have finished the loan, you would have paid RM535 X 12months X 9years + RM3,000 = RM60,780.

The retail price of the Kenari is RM41,000. You have just wasted RM19,780 worth of retirement savings. And that’s not my only point.

In 9 years, you would have rotated and balanced your wheels 18 times, sent for oil service no fewer than 27 times, replaced all your belts twice, changed tyres twice, changed battery twice, renewed your insurance policy and paid your roadtax 8 times, and probably filled up your aircon gas 3 times. Rough calculation suggests that you would have spent about RM10,000 on all of the above. Again, that’s just point number 2.

All these cost factors of course, exclude other unforeseen maintenance costs .i.e parts breakdown, tow service, minor dents that you’d take care of. They also do not take into account your daily petrol, toll fee, parking fare and traffic summons, which, if you consider them all, you would have wasted more than RM100,000. And you pollute the air too, you, you, you freaking flat faced fanatic!

(Footnote: You don’t have to be flat faced in this article, but I just want to impress you with my alliteration. THAT and making fun of people without nose bridge is a surefire laugh!)

By the time you realize all these expenses, your Kenari is feeling tired, and you will start to think that…(Choose one of 2 options):

1. Commuting by bicycle makes sense
2. The MyVi Special Edition looks darn good.

If you choose Option 1 and start riding, you would save more than RM40,000 by the time you retire. More if you consider other more expensive cars. That’s more than what Takaful can give you in 9 years. And that’s not even an investment. That’s just savings.

If you choose Option 2, the whole premise begins again. When you retire, you are broke. And you end up with a car that has so much space but no passengers because all your children have grown up and they have their own cars to waste money on.

So my main point is this, if it doesn’t matter to you to waste RM100 grand or more, why blow it all on a stupid piece of crap? I’d say, get a sportscar. A Lotus Elise or something, you nugget nosed numbskull!

(Footnote no longer necessary)